Kids and Husbands and Stuff

I was a bad, bad step-mom the other day.

It all started when I came home from work to find one of my step-son’s friends at our house. This wouldn’t have been a big deal if my step-son had asked first, but he hadn’t gotten permission from either me or his father, who happened to be working late that night. This has been an on-going issue with him, so needless to say I was not happy.

Dylan, my step-son, came up with this story that Luke was locked out of his house because he had forgotten his key and his parents wouldn’t be home until 7pm so that is why Luke came over without Dylan getting permission first. Total lie. How did I know? Well as soon as Dylan fed me this line of bull I saw him turn towards Luke and wink like, “Haha we got away with it!” Oh hell no!

Then my husband calls. I relay the story and my frustrations to him and he says, “Leave it alone, it’s not that big of a deal.” But, in my eyes, it was a big deal. I’m sick and tired of Dylan lying and acting like he can do whatever he wants. Of course, I’m also texting Louise the whole issue and she is responding with stuff like, “Oh hell no.” and “Kick Luke’s ass out!”

At least she supports me!

I desperately want to make Luke leave, but without the backing of my husband I hesitate and began to doubt myself. “Maybe Luke is really locked out of his house.” “Maybe Dylan is telling the truth this time.” I decide to test these theories out. I go up to Dylan’s room where they’re playing video games and ask Luke for his parent’s cell numbers so I can call and let them know that he’s here and he’s welcome to stay for as long as necessary. At first I get this blank, deer-in-the-headlights look from both of them. Then Luke mutters something to the effect of having already called them so there’s no need to call again. I say, “That’s fine, but I’d like to talk to them as well.” Luke then tells me that he has forgotten their phone numbers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I’m totally fuming.

My husband calls as I’m standing there flaming mad. Again he doesn’t back me. He continues to tell me I’m making a bigger deal out of this than necessary. So, I go back downstairs and begin wondering if maybe I am overreacting. With Louise’s help, I quickly deduce that no, in fact, I am not overreacting. But, I also don’t really know what to do. I want to kick Luke out and ground Dylan for lying, but will this cause more drama than it’s worth between me and my husband????

So, I come up with another plan.

I go downstairs to the fuse box and turn off the power to the upstairs. No power = No video games = Luke, probably having to leave because his parents will “miraculously” come home earlier than expected. So, when the boys come down wondering what’s going on, I pretend to be on the phone with the electric company trying to figure out the problem. I even call my husband asking him, “What could be wrong?” and “What should I do?” He has me check a million things that I “check” before he is truly puzzled by the problem. I know he’ll figure it out soon enough, so I’m hoping my plan works fast.

Within 30 minutes of the “power outage,” Luke had to leave!! Apparently he “found” a spare key in his wallet. Yeah, sure he did. I then wait another 15 minutes before turning on the power to the upstairs and calling my husband acting like a total ditz saying, “You were right! I just needed to flip the switch the whole time! Duh!! I was looking at the wrong one. Silly me.” He bought it.

I know this is bad parenting at its best … or worst … not sure which is more appropriate here.

For all the nay-sayers out there, don’t worry. I was punished by God almost immediately after I did this. Both my water and my internet went out for about two hours. As soon as it happened, I texted Louise telling her God was punishing me for my crimes.

Lessons learned: God is watching. Karma is a bitch.

- Thelma